I am one of those who can make long To Do list and ponders the universe. My head feels so full right now, I think that tends to happen with the holiday season in full swing. So let me have a 'blurt it out' session so I can lighten my load some. I know I am not the only processing these thoughts, so please chime in the comments section with a "Me too, I think about...."
1. Need to refer to my December To Do list and create a schedule for the remainder of the items which are all 'due' on 12/23.
2. Brainstorming pregnancy care and birth options for the next one (whenever that may be). I know pre-natals make a significant impact, need to start again, just for prep.
3. I want to eat healthier, I am thinking of going veg (well, allowing for fish) 2 days/week and/or raw/whole eating 2-3 days/week. It refers to eating nothing processed (basically if it comes in its own packaging, it's processed. The exception will be Greek yogurt.)
4. I need to embarrass myself into fitness, create an exercise tally sheet to post on the wall to serve as motivation.
5. I want orderliness in my household as with my weekly grocery/menu plan, it's really a bi-weekly thing. LOVE IT. Now if I could get on that track with laundry. Bummer that it has to occur AT LEAST once per week.
6. I want a place of our own in less than a year but having difficulty weighing that against pre-school options for Vida. Hmmmmm....
Ahhhhh, that makes me feel much better.
Here's a quick update for friends who are asking and wondering.
Jillian is growing and developing. Last week she was given enthusiastic thumbs up by her cardiologists Dr Q and his ever-humble side kick, Dr M. The patch looks good on ECHO and her weight gain is great. She's occupying the proudly won 10-25th percentile spot on the growth curve - just a little behind her brother's curve. At her 4 month appointment she tipped the scale at 11lb, 9oz. Last week she rolled from back to front to the right. She did it a bunch of times on Thursday when I was at work. Then once on Friday. Now she's taking a break. I guess I forgot to remind her to wait for me to be there to see it, since we practice so much I dream of her rolling back and forth across the room. Nevermind. Daddy and Mimi Gregg got to cheer her on in her progress, and it was very special.
Jillian is still not progressing with her eating by mouth. At all. So we continue in our treks back and forth to CHOP to see the GI and Feeding teams. The plan today is to switch to a 3rd reflux medication and if she isn't doing better by Friday, I may give her Mylanta. She is tolerating a greater volume through the tube, so we are able to feed her over 6 hours overnight rather than 10 hours. That gives time for more attempts at feeding at the bottle or breast during the day. I hate that rotten yellow tube. But I love it, too. It's the star of the show when we talk about weight gain.
Will's personality is so dynamic- and he grows more so every day. His expressions and insight keep me company on the cold, discouraging days when Jilli won't eat. He's ever concerned about her and the location of her pacifier. He's a great big brother. And all he wants for Christmas is a new sippy cup. His favorite books right now are Rosemary Wells' "Max and Ruby" books. We've been having great fun talking about everything in Max's pockets.
I married an incredible man. Sean has daily been working past midnight on the house. Then he gets up in the wee hours of the morning to refresh Jillian's tube feed bag so I can pump and go back to bed. He's so patient with my mood swings and my excessive, maniacal obsessing about Jillian's (lack of) eating. He's a gift.
I just happened to revisit my Vox account and realized that I've been absent for almost 6 months. That means it's been 6 months since I sat down to just freely write. And that's 6 months too long.
I wish I could say that life has been really blah while I was gone. To be honest, I really started posting more and more stuff on Facebook and reconnecting with old friends. And I've been out living life, as I ought.
I took a few minutes to revisit my posts from 2009, and, well, it's kind of amazing how much The Boy has grown and changed, and I'm so intrigued to see how I've grown as a person. I feel like I'm kind of getting the hang of this motherhood thing, like I can take that role in stride now and not let it be my primary focus. As such, I've started wearing short skirts again and occasionally heels, and I'm taking better care of myself. That's not to say that I gave up wearing jeans, of course. I still wear them, but they're a little more fashionable now and not simply utilitarian.
Recent introspection has made me realize that I really haven't been myself for a while. I took a trip up to New York the weekend after Halloween and kind of found myself again. I saw glimpses of a younger, happier, more vibrant Eileen and realize that's the real me. That's the Eileen I need to get back to.
So, this past month has been interesting, at best, as I rediscover myself. Basically, I'm the same person, but I'm taking steps to figure out - and go after - what I want and be the kind of person I want to be. I feel like an amarylis bulb that was sitting dormant in the ground for such a long time, now finally blessed with the right conditions that are enabling me to bloom once more.
And it's a great feeling.
The past week has been BUSY! Last weekend my little brother came to visit. We very much enjoyed having him out to hang with us for a few days. Rock Band got a lot of air time :) When we dropped him off at the airport and drove off, Stephan kept asking, “Where’s uncle Eilert?” and then we talked some about him, and I, being sad that uncle Eilert had to go home. He’s such a sweet little boy, already planning uncle’s next trip out!
I also made the apple pie for our mini "Turkey" feast.
After Eilert left, I endured my one and only workday of the week, rushing home to get down to the Pepsi Center so we could shoot some hoops before the Nuggets game. Unfortunately, we only ended up with five minutes because we got there so late and they booted us off the court earlier than I’d expected. We then walked across the parking lot for dinner and went back for the game. At halftime Stephan was part of the “High Five Squad” and got the chance to high five some very tall NBAers. Due to a mix up, he did not get to see the Nuggets up close, and some of the other kids parents were jerks, but he did get one Nets player to come up and give him a high five, which I tried to play up for his sake. He was disappointed to only high five one player, but that’s more than some people ever get so it was still pretty darn cool!
That afternoon I’d called my OB’s office and found out the preeclampsia labs she did all were fine. Still going to check my BP on Tuesday and see if I’ll need to start meds, but what a relief to know that it’s not preeclampsia, just the high blood pressure right now.
Wednesday Andy and I took Stephan to daycare and spent the day together. We went to see Pirate Radio (not a bad flick, but not the comedy I’d expected from the previews) and he took me to Red Robin for lunch. Also stopped at Sam’s for tp, but otherwise an official date mid week, something that doesn’t often happen.
Turkey day we went to Mimi’s Café for lunch with my in-laws. I’m not a huge turkey fan, so I just got a breakfast frittata that was pretty good and shared Andy’s pumpkin pie. Even though it was a pretty small meal, I didn’t eat much the rest of the day. We sent Stephan off with nana & papa and had another afternoon to ourselves before heading to the Bronco game. So glad they actually won again. A little chillier than I like, too bad the game wasn’t played in the afternoon when it was 60 and sunny out. On the way home we drove by Best Buy and Ultimate Electronics to see where we might have the most luck getting Andy his PS3 deal. I decided to ask him if he wanted that as his Cmas/Bday/Anniv gift this year and after combing the ads, those two stores were the only ones with deals. Best Buy looked NUTS already at 9:30pm so we decided to skip that and go for Ultimate since there were only about 15 people waiting there. After going home and getting a few hours of sleep, we got up at 3am to head out for …
Black Friday. This is only the second year we’ve done the BF thing. When we got to Ultimate, there were about 40-50 people in front of us and we plopped down in our camp chairs and bundled up in our blankies for a couple hours. When the store employees finally started walking down the line with vouchers we luckily got one for the PS3, 7 of 10! The deal there was that they were going to sell 10 PS3s with a bonus $100 gift card. With that bonus we were able to get the BluRay remote and a game for Andy and I got a game for my DS too since they were already sold out of my Mario game. Oh well, it’s on my Christmas list along with Wii Fit Plus! After the hour long wait to check out, we drove over to Target to see if they still had a couple toys in the ad for Stephan. They did. Andy was unsuccessful at finding his Psych season, but got a season of Monk instead. So far a pretty good morning. We stopped at McD’s and then went to Kohl’s to see what was left there after them being open for 3 hours or so. There was a toy I wanted to get for Stephan, something to hang on to and give him from the baby in the hospital, and some frames, and Andy said he’d wanted to have me pick out some earrings for my Christmas gift. We found everything and while the cheaper earrings that were in the ad were all gone, they probably looked kinda crappy anyway, and I found some pretty diamond earrings to coordinate with the necklace he and Stephan got me a couple years ago for Mother’s Day.
We went home and got everything inside. I decided that while Andy was setting up his PS3 I’d pull out Stephan’s presents and get them all unboxed and ready to go and then wrapped them so he wouldn’t discover them AND know what they were like he did this year before his birthday. Took a while, but now his gifts are not only purchased, but wrapped and ready to go under the tree and in his stocking. Good thing too, cause he’s already found them and asked about them and wanted them. Sheesh.
After waking up a little with showers, we headed up to nana & papa’s to get the kid and stopped along the way at Dick’s to see if we’d get lucky there too. While they did not have the plum Crocs I wanted (don't even think they stock that color), they did have my size in the cute emu ugg boots so I snagged those. I’ve been wanting a pair but holding out since so many are made in China and not Australia. I did not want to spend a ton of money on a pair of boots that are probably made for ¼ the cost or less. These were 60% off and have a cute button accent so I decided to give them a try and see if I like them enough to maybe order some that are really made in Australia.
I crashed with Stephan when we got home and had a lovely nap that got me through dinner and more Rock Band with some friends we haven’t seen in years, not since just after Stephan was born. We enjoyed catching up with them and just hanging out.
This morning Andy woke up feeling crummy after so little sleep yesterday. After he drank some water and ate some he started feeling better and we were off on our last errand of the weekend. Went to the mall and the Christian bookstore. Their deals were good for three days and not just three hours so I didn’t want to stress or feel like I needed to rush there yesterday. We got a couple Veggie Tales DVDs and CDs for Andy and I, Stephan picked out a Veggie ornament for his tree ... and we picked up a DVD and doll for my youngest niece.
WE ARE DONE WITH CHRISTMAS SHOPPING!! YAY!!!
One tradition left to go. Andy and I buy stocking suffers
for each other last minute. Have for years. We go to Target and make a game of avoiding each other in the store and seeing how much
we can get for the other person’s stocking for just $25. Fun challenge.
If Andy’s still feeling better he might go down to the garage and dig out the tree and all our other Christmas stuff. Right now of course, he’s shooting up somewhere in Warfare land on his Christmas gift. I’m glad everything worked out.
Tomorrow, we’ll head to church and then probably rest the afternoon away.
I only worked 8 days in Nov + one day at a conference. There are 12 up in Dec, three whole weeks and then Christmas break. I feel a bit spoiled. Hard to believe that come January I’ve only got about 10 more weeks till baby’s here and then I’ll have most of the rest of the year off before summer. This year has been QUICK.
Vida is about a week away from turning 20 months! Her language development continues to impress me. I know, every mother has a super baby. Well here's some proof:
She can say some 3 word sentences, here are some examples:
1. I see you! If you're playing hide and seek and she spots you.
2. We're home! As we drive into our alley and pull up to our place.
3. There it is! When she has located something we asked for.
She has memorized two songs and sings them on her own.
1. The Wheels on the Bus... (My mom just loves this one.)
This one is not as easily understood until you hear her say, 'round and round'. She sings it spontaneously not on command.
2 Happy Birthday! (Every gathering with multiple people and candles in sight is 'Happy Birthday' time.)
Take Thanksgiving for example: At the table were centerpieces with orange tapers. She was so excited and began to sing "Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to Vida. Blow! Blow!"
Vida has a cousin that's 6 weeks older than her and his mom said he only knew 3 words and simply grunts to have his needs met.
3. She's working on some Mother Goose Nursery rhymes, I think she has them but doesn't sing them all the way through on her own. Favorites include: Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (95% memorized), Row, Row, Row Your Boat and Pat a Cake (85% memorized).
She asks to have books read to her one after the other.
I notice this most during the bed time routine: we put the pajamas on, bring the bottle, she inhales it, and says, 'book'. We read one, two, and sometimes three or four books. I am trying to decipher if she has already started to use it as a stall for bedtime or simply enjoys reading for pleasure. There are days where she'll get in a book worm mood in the middle of the day and want to read.
There's one book, she can 'read' on her own:
On each page there's a different doll with a feature that is not 'right'. Example: 'That's not my dolly! Her shoes are too bumpy!' The shoes are textured for touch. As Vida flips through it, you can hear the intonation that I use as I read to her. I may have mentioned this before because she caught me by surprise about two months ago when I overheard her. I am fascinated though because it reminds of when I ask kids to read aloud with an animated voice and to use the punctuation marks. Some kids still sound monotone or their attempts are strained. Reading with intonation can only be learned through modeling.
She engages in storytelling:
There are 3 incidents she re-lives when something trigger her memory, usually an object or keyword.
1. The parakeet incident: While Pablo let the birds spread their wings, they scrambled to the top of the back door when Vida approached. One of them flew away back to the cage as Vida began to move the door. The more docile, tame one, stayed and had a toe smashed in the door frame. With a horrible shriek, Vida let go and ran to the other side of the kitchen, she was traumatized. Her face flush and on the verge of tears from the horrible squaking. Pablo was washing the dishes (awesome Husband, I know) and I came in to check out the commotion. The bird is now inside its cage and bleeding. I attend to Vida and reassure her, Pablo attends to the bird, quickly Googling first aid. Pablo was leaving the next morning for a surprise visit home for his mom's birthday. I took the bird in for a check up (I didn't think it was necessary but these $4 parakeets are his friends). $100 later (an antibiotic and vitamin shot), granted both parakeets had their nails trimmed, he's fine. Every now and then, Vida will comment:
Bird, Door, Sorry
Sorry...was picked up at daycare. If she walks by an object and bumps into it, she tells the it, 'sorry'. Once when I picked her up from daycare, she said, 'Seesaw. Sorry.' She motioned to her head. I am guessing some kid abruptly got off and she fell off.
2. Then there was the Turban squash incident. We selected a turban squash from the pumpkin patch. It was Pablo's idea, it could serve as Vida's own pumpkin, it's a cute size, and it looks like a toadstool. Below is an example:
One morning I was washing out her bottles and she wanted to tell the parakeets good morning. We have a routine where we tell them 'good morning' and pull of the towel that covers them. Well the turban squash was sitting on top of the cage and came down with just a couple of gentle tugs. A 'foot' of the squash landed square on the front right corner of Via's head and knocked her to her butt. It was definitely a slow motion reaction on my part as it unfolded. She summarizes the incident as Pumpkin! Burdies! Sorry! As she pats the part of her forehead that was hit. :-(
I don't want to end on a sad note like that. She has incredible resiliency and spunk. It's hilarious to watch her find tons of amusement in the most basic experiences, like going up and down the back steps or her Little Tikes slide in our living room. The role playing is expanding. She places her stuff animals on chairs and spins them 'round and 'round. She reads with them in her house.
This weekend a new element of entertainment was introduced...Play dough! I have small jars (the party favor ones) in 4 different colors. She loves them all. Daddy has a good time too. He makes her cake, strawberries, and bananas. She likes using tools with it, like a small roller, protractor, and the cases themselves. Beginning in January, she will start attending Music Together classes. I am saving the details of our first demo class for another post. The program is simply amazing! We're taking small steps to prep her for preschool, she could start as early as 4 months from now! Most likely, we're still 10 months away but it's good to present her with similar experiences.
It seems as though the surge of hormones acquired during my pregnancy with Vida still linger. Whenever I read a tragic news story about a young life lost, a sinking feeling comes over me. I actually feel my chest sink a little bit as I go limp reading some of the details of these abductions that almost always result in killings.
I can recall the first time that I watched some footage on the news while on maternity leave and simply clutching Vida as close as I possibly could without actually squishing her. I needed to run an errand at Target and began to take into consideration measures that are needed to protect her from 'baby snatchers'. The story I watched on the news didn't even play out like that. However, the thoughts of what a 'baby snatcher' could do sent me into hyper-protective mode.
As an educator, you have many opportunities to create nurturing mommy moments. I recently subbed in a first grade classroom and was taken aback by the hugs I was welcomed with after lunch recess. This morning, I arrived early for an assignment to assist a librarian. There was a 1st grader waiting for the library to open up along with me. She had a Fancy Nancy book in Spanish! I asked her about it and asked if I could read it with her. Mid-way through the book, a fourth grader arrived and began to follow along. I just couldn't help myself. For one thing, I felt awkward just hanging out in the hallway and out of a little boredom was born a teachable moment.
Stephan LOVES Christmas. He sees the displays go up in stores and gets excited. We were walking through Kohl's a couple weeks ago and he saw their Christmas area and exclaims, "mommie, it's Christmastime here!"
Friday night I was out with a friend and we stopped in Target (the one near me is attached to the mall), I found a small tree that was $9. Didn't quite want to get it right then, but I knew that Stephan would probably love to have "Christmastime" in his room. I talked to Andy about it and we both agreed the tree was worth it. So after nap I said I wanted to go to the store and get a surprise for Stephan. He of course wanted to know what it was. When I told him I wanted to get him a tree for his room he didn't seem super enthused about the idea.
However, as he realized what I was saying he got a little more excited about things. When I showed him the little tree he got very happy and decided he wanted colored lights. We usually have white ones on the big tree, and I figured the colored ones wouldn't be as bright to leave on at night when he's going to sleep. We found the tree, the lights, a mini tree skirt and a few ornaments.
When we got home, the first thing we had to do was set up the tree, and put on some Christmas music. Stephan's a riot.
Everything always seems so much livelier through the eyes of a toddler.
Since the Phillies are on their way to ANOTHER World Series Victory, the local news came back to interview Will a year after his parade debut. It was a rainy day and Will was as hyper as it gets. The reporter and his camera woman were very nice, and very patient with our little guy. Sean and I felt like total dunces on camera, but oh well. It's not about us. Luck for us, they only showed brief footage of us talking, and the best footage they got of Will. I don't think they gave him much. I wish I had saved a clip of last year's interview.
Without further debut:
Will has found many ways to befuddle us throughout his young life. His most recent puzzle: his refusal to poop. If you don't like potty talk, you may want to skip this post.
Ok so, a few weeks ago, he started to fight us on diaper changes. Then he started to go down the list of people who:
"are not allowed to change my diaper." I may have referred to this conversation in a sound byte post recently. We started to notice a change in his frequency and thought it was just a little irregularity due to a little bit of life upheaval. So we introduced prunes and different sorts of natural motivators. No dice. Though we're not yet potty training in earnest, we started letting him sit on the potty and try to go there, since he has fun flushing and seems to be excited about exploring the concept of the toilet. Still no dice. At our pediatrician's recommendation, we've started Miralax.
The kids and I have been at grandparents' house for the weekend as Sean is working on sanding the age old dirt and potentially lead paint off the floors in the first floor of our house. Will has expressed to me numerous times that he wants to go home because he doesn't want to poop here. When we have this conversation at nap time, I can tell by the desperation in his voice that the event is imminent and he doesn't want it to happen. He says he doesn't want to do it because he doesn't want Mimi or Papa to change it. Even yesterday when Sean and I were both here to change him, he still wouldn't let it happen.
Along with this new emotional bump in his life, he has developed Tough Guy Syndrome. When he sustains a little bump he looks at Mimi or Papa and says through his tears: "don't look at me!" He doesn't want anyone but me, and sometimes Daddy, to see him cry. Perhaps this is related to the new-found fears of pooping?
What is a Mother to do. Veteran Mommys who check in here, how have you handled this situation?
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